I graduate in 7 months. In 13 months, I start having to pay back student loans. Sometime before that time comes ideally, I would know what I am doing after college. Because right now I am not really, sure where I am going or what I am going to do. Basically I have to kinda sorta become an adult, and everyone who knows me just shuddered at that scary thought.
I am the kind of guy who needs to know what is going to happen. At least I think that I need to, God pry thinks differently. I spend a significant amount of time thinking about tomorrow or next year or twenty years from now and what I need to accomplish to get where I want to be. Worrying about the future does not always make for the lightest of burdens or great nights of sleep.
I am in a period where I think justifiably there is panic and turmoil seemingly nipping at the edges of my being. There is an overwhelming burden attempting to force itself onto my shoulders. I think at earlier times in my life this would have overwhelmed me and sent me reeling.
However, this year has been different. There has been a sense in my life that decisions are coming that need to be made, but I do not need to worry. It has been as if I keep hearing from God, “Hang on and let go.” Throughout life, I believe we get a few moments that are extremely defining moments in who we are to become.
Moses’ calling in the desert, Saul being struck blind, Adam and Eve eating the apple, Judas betraying Jesus for money, Ruth following Naomi in faith. All of these situations, for better or worse, are huge moments that define these men and women. The catalytic moments are what they are remembered for.
Now I am not going to sit here and claim that me graduating college is one of those moments. Come May many people my age all over the country will be in my exact same situation. I have no false image that I am any more important or my story matters more. What I do believe is that when approaching a situation that could define who I am to become.
There are so many different paths I could take come graduation that logically make sense. And for all I know that is what God has in mind for me. However, I also know that our wondrous gigantic God could have something that seems completely illogical to me planned. The only way I will ever get to know which of these is truly meant to be is if I can truly hold on to God and let go of my safety net.
I feel like God is watching over me right now and telling me in a gentle whisper like Elijah heard, “Hold on and let go.” This is my challenge for the next 6 months. I hope that it is what I am challenged to do every day after that as well. Because, honestly, when I am holding on and in charge things do not go the best.
So today, I have decided to hold on to God, and let go of my expectations. I would challenge anyone reading this to take some time and seek what God’s asking you to hold on to, and what you’re being asked to let go of.